distraction:

tom-delongerie:

mark hoppus u smooth ass son of a bitch

life lessons

(via mrsphilbrooks)

bournelitas:

Turns out Dean was actually chillin in the crowd the whole time with some shades on. He seems to have gotten a big head with terrorizing Seth tho, no?

  • Bae: Come over.
  • Me: I'm watching Dean Ambrose promos
  • Bae: My parents aren’t home.
  • Me: DID I FUCKING STUTTER?!

bournelitas:

@bestsincedayone

Found this in the wrestling mag I bought. c:

deans-sexyass-smirk:

look at dean.
that little cutie.

Q

Anonymous asked:

omg if baby oil dissolves condoms what the fuck does it do to babies???

A

the-kellin-under-the-vic:

This may be shocking, but babies and condoms are made of different material

kimpissable:

clevverbot:

UH NO. EXCUSE ME BUT WHAT ARE YOU DOING. DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW TO FUCKING MAKE A BURGER

FIRST OF ALL, THE PICKLES ARE ALL ON ONE SIDE OF THE FUCKING THING, SO YOU’LL EITHER HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL YOU GET TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BURGER TO ENJOY THE PICKLES OR YOU’LL HAVE TO FACE THEM HEAD ON WHEN YOU START EATING IT

SECOND, WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU PUT KETCHUP DIRECTLY ON THE FUCKING PICKLES THEY’RE ALREADY SOUR ENOUGH, YOU’RE JUST GONNA HAVE A FUCKING OVERLOAD OF FLAVOR AND THOSE PARTICULAR BITES AREN’T GOING TO BE VERY GOOD

AND THIRD, THAT CHEESE IS NOT FUCKING CENTERED ONTO THE FUCKING BURGER YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE LIKE TWO OR THREE BITES WITHOUT CHEESE AND YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE LIKE FIVE BITES WITH TOO MUCH CHEESE BECAUSE IT’S NOT FUCKING CENTERED

I AM DISAPPOINTED SPONGEBOB FIRST YOU CAN’T EVEN FUCKING DRIVE RIGHT, NOW YOU CAN’T EVEN MAKE A FUCKING KRABBY PATTY RIGHT EVEN THOUGH YOU’VE BEEN DOING IT FOR 15 FUCKING YEARS
GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER

shhh the pickles are sleeping

(via roxymaniaaa)